Age-appropriate tips for saying “no” to kids

As a parent, you want your child to have good experiences and be happy. However, sometimes you need to say “no.” Saying “no” is important and, although it might upset them initially it will ultimately make children feel more safe, secure, and resilient in the long run.

Some moments where you might need to say “no” include:

• Values (e.g., health): “No, you can’t have more cake.”
• Family dynamics: “No, please knock before you come into my bedroom.”
• Safety: “No, that’s too high to jump off of without hurting yourself.”

These rules help create boundaries and routines that your child—and your family—can thrive in.

Consistency, empathy, and modeling appropriate behaviors while setting limits has the potential to help your children.

• Handle tough feelings: Your child learns that they can work through frustration, anger, and disappointment.
• Exercise self-control: Your child is better able to control impulsive behavior and can handle delays.
• Respect and set healthy boundaries: Your child knows what’s okay and not okay behavior. They also learn to respect others’ limits and their own. They are better able to say “no” to things that are too much for them.

Saying “no” when needed helps your child grow up resilient and happy.