Learning how to set boundaries

Setting boundaries is much easier said than done. As simple as it sounds to say no to somebody who is asking you for a favour or speaking up when something isn’t right, it can be scary to do. However, learning how to set boundaries is important. They can help support your own mental health and also the wellbeing of others, too.

How to Set Healthy Boundaries

If you are struggling to set boundaries in any area of your life, whether it is at work, at home, with friends or with family, you’re not alone. This is something that many people struggle with. To help, here are three tips to help support your boundary-setting skills.

Identify what you’re comfortable with

You can’t set boundaries if you don’t know what you’re comfortable with. Take some time to identify the things that you are willing to do for others or the amount of work you’re happy to take on. Similarly, identify how much is too much for you so you know when to stop saying yes and start saying no to people’s requests.

Get comfortable with saying no to people

One reason why people struggle to set boundaries is that they feel uncomfortable saying no to others. Sometimes that is because they don’t want to let someone down, other times it is because they want to be liked. If you find saying no difficult to do, you might need to practice saying no and get comfortable with doing so.

When saying no, try to focus on being respectful. The recipient of your message will appreciate the graciousness of how your message is delivered.

Communicate your boundaries clearly

Other people are not mind-readers. If, for example, someone asks you to take on some more work but you’re not able to do so, be clear about why you’re saying no to their request.

When you are able to clearly communicate your boundaries to others, you will find that many people will respect them.